Brace Yourself: Triumph Over Tragedy
by littlegreyfilly
Summary: Mia Jones was once considered a fearless girl who was never afraid to party. What happens after one lustful night and how she decided to have it effect her. How one girl grew up in the face of change and learned to overcome it. -post "Rock This Town."
1. Chapter 1: Shake It

**OOC/ Elphie here again! –bows- Sorry for my insanely long leave of absence. As most of you know, I am an aspiring musical actress and I was very fortunate to have some amazing theatrical experiences these past few months. But now I have reached a complete dull in my thespian life… –sobs- But this gives me more time to write for all of you fabulous readers!**

**I am still working on my **_**Baby**_** fanfiction, but I need a break from it. Don't worry, readers!! I will be back! For now, because of my enormous (we're talking larger than life, folks) obsession with **_**Degrassi**_**, I have decided to try a fanfiction. We'll see how it goes, eh? Did anyone get my Canadian humor right there? No? Ah, I'll keep trying ;;**

**Like my other fic, this one will be set to various songs that I believe set the mood. I will be posting the lyrics beforehand instead of doing songfics. My best friend, and avid fanfiction writer, recently informed me about how annoying songfics are. Woops. I'll try this instead. If you **_**really**_** want to get into my head, put the song that is designated at the top on while reading that particular chapter. It'll be epic.**

**Here we go, my readers:**

Brace Yourself: Triumph over Tragedy

Chapter 1: Shake It

_I'll take you home if you don't leave me at the front door (front door)  
You're body's cold, but girl we're getting so warm  
And I was thinking of ways that I could get inside (get inside)  
Tonight you're falling in love (let me go now)  
The feelings stirring me up (here we go now)_

_Now if she does it like this will you do it like that  
Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back  
Now if she moves like this, will you move it like that (come on)_

_You're lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare (straight stare)  
You're on the bed but your clothes are laying right there  
And I was thinking of places that I could hide  
Tonight you're falling in love (let me go now)  
The feelings stirring me up (here we go now)_

_Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it!_

--

"Will you hurry up?"

It was as though nail polish was flying through the air. The music downstairs was on full blast, and the curtains were ricocheting with the bass pressure excreting from the stereo. Anonymous voices could be heard from the rooms below, trailing up the stairs to linger with the treble vocals.

"Mia, I'm serious! Everyone's already here!"

She was examining herself in the mirror, taking extra care to make herself up. She wanted to look perfect, and she wasn't sure if she had achieved that image yet. The knee-length red strapless dress she had purchased the previous day was sitting a little too tight behind. The black high heels were already starting to hurt her feet. Her jewelry wasn't matching like it was supposed to. She wanted to look absolutely perfect, and nothing less than that. Her hands ran down her stomach, onto her thighs, and then back up to her hips.

"Jane, does this look okay?"

With a sigh, the darker haired of the two paced from the door and back over to her friend. She looked at her, and smiled.

"You always look great, Mia. Who are you trying to impress, anyway? Don't you already have a boyfriend- oh yeah! My brother!" She playfully punched her in the shoulder. "Now come on. We're missing all the action."

With a nod, Mia proceeded to follow Jane out of her bedroom, shutting off the lights on her way out.

She wasn't always like this.

In elementary school, Mia Jones had been the smart one. Everything academic seemed to come naturally to her and she was always the one that was elected to help those who were struggling. She was bright and cheerful, and never had a sour attitude about anything. Teacher pegged her as valedictorian of her high school class, and foresaw great things in her future.

When she reached junior high, things began to change. School became a chore as opposed to the delight she had once taken in it. Her style changed dramatically from a formal attire to a dark, unapproachable one. She left her friends, the ones who had been loyal to her from the beginning, and picked up new ones; 'friends' who would ultimately help her achieve her defining moment.

In seventh grade she discovered parties. Her first one, at fellow seventh grader Johnny deMarco's house, resulted in several people becoming ill due to alcohol poisoning, and the police being called. The emotions that Mia had felt during the dancing, during the drinking- during the entire experience- had her hooked. From then on, she was no longer known as the smart one. She was the partier. She knew how to have a good time, and she was always one to find it.

No one tried to stop her. Her mother, single and always working, didn't pay much attention to her daughter's abrupt transformation into destruction. There was no one else for her. Nobody ever tried to warn her of what could happen. Everyone else urged her on, as though ready to see her fall.

On the particular night that changed everything, the mood was hot and heavy at the temporarily parentless home of Jane and her brother Lucas. Teenagers, ranging in age from sixth to ninth grade, were crammed into the main floor, dancing like maniacs, drinking whatever they could get their lips on, and shouting to their hearts desire.

It was just another Friday night.

As soon as Jane and Mia reached the bottom of the stairs, people cascaded into their view. The two girls took their separate ways, both looking for someone in particular. For Jane, it was the boy she had been crushing on for two months now: Drake Lempkey. For Mia, it was her boyfriend Lucas. The pair had been dating for nearly four months, and things were beginning to heat up. Maybe 'heating up' was and understatement; things were beginning to burst into red-hot flame.

She spotted him near the drink table, pouring himself another cup of beer. She smiled and hurried to him, grabbing his waist and pulling herself into his body. He jumped slightly in surprise, accidentally sloshing himself with the drink, but didn't seem to mind much when he realized who was attacking him.

"Hey there, gorgeous," he whispered, his words only slightly slurred. His breath smelled of booze, but Mia wasn't one to mind. Soon enough, hers would match his.

"Dance with me," she purred, taking a hold of his free hand as one of her favorite songs, Lady Marmalade, came blasting through the speakers surrounding them.

Setting down his drink, Lucas hurried after Mia onto what could be considered the dance floor. Everyone around them was moving to the beat, drinks spilling onto the carpet, windows outwardly trembling in protest to the sounds. Within moments, Mia was grinding her hips into Lucas's waist, kissing his neck seductively. He willingly went along with it, his hands caressing her lower back and bottom.

Song after song they danced, only stopping to get drinks.

It was nearing midnight.

As she proceeded to kiss his face, teasing him, he grasped her wrist.

"Why don't we find someplace more private?" he asked, his voice husky and low.

A pause. Then:

She smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

Taking her hand, Lucas led her toward his empty, dark bedroom. Looking around at the partiers around them, he allowed her to enter, and shut the door behind them.

She was only thirteen.

**OOC/ DUHN DUHN DUHN! –dramatic pause- So there's my first chapter! It's not much, but I had to get it out of the way. I hope it played out on paper as it did in my head. It is hard to get it just how I want it.**

**Once again, I feel the urge to point out that I am not a writer in the slightest- I am an actor, a singer, a dancer.**

**Reviews are soooooo appreciated! Even just a little hint that you, dear reader, took the time to read this first chapter of my new tale. Just a little reminder that someone out there cares!! –cue sappy music- Nah, just please review!**

**Until later! And I promise it won't be as long- ELPHIE :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Cry

**OOC/ Ah, I appreciated getting that review. I squealed! Haha. Anyway- here is chapter two of my latest installment.**

**Brace Yourself:  
Triumph Over Tragedy **

Chapter 2: Cry

_I'll always remember  
It was late afternoon  
It lasted forever  
And ended too soon  
You were all by yourself  
Staring up at a dark gray sky  
I was changed_

_In places no one would find  
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)  
It was then that I realized  
That forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

_It was late in September  
And I've seen you before (and you were)  
You were always the cold one  
But I was never that sure  
You were all by yourself  
Staring at a dark gray sky  
I was changed_

_In places no one would find  
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)  
It was then that I realized  
That forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

_I wanted to hold you  
I wanted to make it go away  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to make your everything, all right..._

_I'll always remember...  
It was late afternoon..._

_In places no one would find...  
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)  
It was then that I realized  
That forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

--

The chalkboard before her was fading in and out.

She had been up all night, throwing up. Her mother was also not feeling well, and Mia blamed it on the chicken she had had the previous night. The only reason she had gone to school was because she was on the verge of failing English. In just a few moments time, she would be taking the test that would make or break her entire semester.

Her stomach was flipping. She wasn't sure if it was the chicken or her nerves about the upcoming test.

Beside her, Jane took her hand. "You feeling okay?" she whispered as Mrs. Milken turned her back to writing the definition of the word "conjunction" on the board. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Mia shook her head, trying to bring herself out of the trance she was before her. "I'm just… I don't know. Nervous about the test. And I may be suffering from e. coli or something." She sighed and looked at Jane.

At that moment, her entire body began to rocket. "I think I'm going to be sick." Jumping to her feet, she rushed out of the classroom, and into the nearest bathroom.

After a few dry heaves, she finally emptied her stomach contents into the porcelain bowl. Panting, she wiped her mouth onto her hand, her head beginning to spin. Was food poisoning really this bad? Maybe she had the stomach flu. She wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep.

Before she knew it, tears were pooled into her brown eyes, and she brought her face to her hands.

Shaking and whimpering, she reached into her pocket, withdrew her cell phone, and called her mom.

--

"Jane?"

Her phone was clutched in her hand, and she was trembling. "Jane, I need your help."

It was finally Saturday. Mia hadn't been feeling well since her embarrassing vomiting episode at school and hadn't been in school. Her mother had recovered from her bout of food poisoning within twenty-four hours, and she was thinking about taking Mia to the doctor.

"Mia, what's wrong?" She could hear her friend flipping through a magazine on the other line.

"Can you come over?" She glanced at the clock. It was only 11:30 in the morning. "Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong."

Jane dropped her magazine and sat up. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Just…" She paused. "Just please come over here as fast as you can."

It didn't take long for Jane to arrive. She trampled up the stairs, and opened the door to find Mia, sitting by the window with her baby blanket bundled into her hands, held close to her face.

"Mia, what the hell is going on?" She rushed to her, kneeling down and putting her hand onto her shoulder. "Are you sick? Is it really bad food poisoning?"

She laughed. "I wish."

"What do you mean?"

Mia looked from the window to her friend. She took a deep, shaking breath. "Do you remember that party last month? The one at your house?"

Jane sat down, getting comfortable. "Yeah. How can I forget? I was busted so bad for starting that."

"Well." Her hands were twisting into her blanket, and she looked down at her feet. "Lucas and I… we… we had sex."

She stopped talking, waiting for Jane's reaction. When she didn't say anything, she took it as her cue to continue. "And now, I think I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Jane let her hand drop from Mia's shoulder. "You're pregnant?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

Jane stood up, her face reacting in disbelief. "Did you even use protection?"

"N-No. I didn't think you could get pregnant your first time."

"Are you a complete idiot, Mia? God… I can't even be near you right now!" She clenched her fists. "I've gotta go."

"Jane, please! Jane!" But Jane was already out of her room, heading down the stairs toward the front entrance. She could hear the front door slam, and looked out the window to watch her friend walking away.

Tears fell from her eyes and she hung her head. This couldn't be happening. She was only thirteen. Could she really be pregnant?

She had to find out. She had to find out fast before her mom made her go see a doctor. The doctor could probably tell she was pregnant. She couldn't have her mom finding out. Not now. Not yet. She needed to do this on her own.

Grabbing her purse, she left a note for her mom, who was out with her friends buying flowers, and went to catch the bus.

Her eyes were burning with tears, and she refused to look at anyone on the ride to the drugstore. By the time she got there, the sun was beginning to hide behind the clouds, and she could tell that rain was headed her way.

The store was nearly deserted. She breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't sure what she would do if she saw anyone she knew there.

Quickly, she hurried to the family planning aisle, scanning it desperately for the cheapest at home pregnancy test. She didn't have much money, and wasn't about to go and find more back at home. By the time she got back to her house, her mother would be home.

Her eyes darting around nervously, she grabbed for a test, proceeded to pay for it, and rushed back toward the bus stop.

--

As the lines on the stick before her turned pink, her entire world crumpled into herself. This couldn't be happening.

Thirteen… thirteen, alone, and pregnant?

**OOC/ I'm having a hard time trying to get my mind back into that of a thirteen year olds. I don't remember what it's like to be thirteen, even though it's only been three years. Anyhow! Hope this works. I had to get Jane to leave Mia somehow, because I remember Mia telling Jane that she "abandoned me the moment I got pregnant." (Everything She Wants, 721). Lucas will be back in the next chapter, I do believe. But don't get too attached to him, folks! Cause he's gonna be gone just as fast, if not faster, than his sister.**

**Until next time, my dears! And remember to review! ELPHIE**


	3. Chapter 3: Shadow Of The Day

**OOC/ Can't believe I've reached four reviews! Wooo! Okay, done with the mini celebration in honor of me. Sorry. I am definitely feeling good about this right now.**

**Brace Yourself:**

**Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 3:

Shadow Of The Day

_I close both locks below the window  
I close the blinds and turn away  
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple  
Sometimes goodbye's the only way  
_

_And the shadow of the day  
Will embrace the world in grey  
And the sun will set for you_

_Pink cards and flowers on your window  
You're friends all plead for you to stay  
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple  
Sometimes goodbye's the only way_

_And the shadow of the day  
__Will embrace the world in grey_  
_And the sun will set for you…_

--

The sky was turning purple as the sun began to set underneath the autumn clouds.

Thirteen… and pregnant? Could it really be true?

Mia looked at the clock. It was nearly 7:30. Her mother should be back any second now. She would have to tell her. She had too. She didn't have anyone else. Jane was obviously not speaking to her. And Lucas… She shivered at the thought of telling him what happened. What would he do? Would he leave?

She stood up, her legs shaking. She threw the pregnancy test into the garbage, wrapped in a piece of toilet paper. Maybe it was a false positive. Maybe she wasn't pregnant after all. There was no way. It had been their first time! And Lucas had pulled out before he had came. There was just absolutely no way.

Still, her hand rested absently on her stomach. Was there really a little person growing inside of her. Tears filled her brown eyes and she bowed her head. Now more than ever, she craved the warm embrace of her mother. When was the last time she had even hugged her or told her she loved her? Soon she was outright sobbing again, unable to control herself. She wanted to call her mom at work, beg her to come home and be with her. She couldn't stand being alone.

She picked up her phone from her pocket, her hands trembling much like her legs. Instead of dialing her mother's number, without thinking, she dialed a number she hadn't thought about calling in over a year.

It rang three times before someone picked up.

"Jackie? It's Mia."

Jackie Steinberg had been her best friend in elementary school, and the first person she had abandoned when she had taken up her new lifestyle. At one point in her life, Jackie had been the most important person to her. And, although she would never admit it, she missed her more than ever.

"Mia?" Jackie's sweet voice sounded so distant; so far away. The sound of her tone made Mia collapse onto her toilet seat once again, bringing the sleeve of her large sweatshirt to her mouth to cover her sobs from traveling through the phone. "Well, I never thought I would see that day that Mia Jones would talk to me. How's your boyfriend? How's Jane? Still off drinking the night away?" She was bitter. Mia didn't blame her. She had ditched her as quickly as merely shutting off a lightbulb.

"Jackie, I made a huge mistake. I need you."

She could hear Jackie laughing. "Mia, you haven't called me in over a year. You just want me now because you got yourself into a jam?" There was a long pause. "Sorry. You're on your own."

"Wait!" She held her breath, hoping their call hadn't been disconnected. When she could still hear Jackie breathing, she continued. "Please. I'm so sorry about last year. I was a complete bitch to you. I promise I will make it up to you somehow." Another pause. "I need you. I want you back in my life."

"Really?" She still didn't sound convinced. "How could I trust you again, Mia?"

"I don't know. Just please. Try to believe me. I need you right now. I've done something stupid. And I want you by my side." She couldn't believe how easy the words flew from her mouth. She wasn't lying at all; she was absolutely lost without her.

She could almost hear Jackie thinking hard on the other side of the phone. Then she sighed. "Okay. I'll try. But only because I miss you, too."

That only made Mia cry harder. She had to hold onto the counter beside her to keep from falling off the seat.

"Mia, what is going on?"

"C-Can you please just come over? I want to talk to you."

"Sure. Of course. I'll be right there." With a click, she was gone.

Not even five minutes later, Mia heard a knock on her front door. She almost flew down the stairs to open it, falling into Jackie's embrace, which didn't feel any different than it had the last time they had hugged, back in the summer going into grade six.

"Mia, oh my gosh. What on earth is wrong?"

She couldn't breathe. She clutched her chest, backing into her house and sitting down on the couch. She was hyperventilating; she didn't know how to stop.

Quickly, Jackie sat down beside her, taking her hand with one of her own and using her free on to rub her back. "Shh, Mia. Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. What's going on? You can talk to me." All the remorse Jackie had once felt toward her friend was gone. She could see the old Mia shining through her tear stained brown eyes. She was still in there. She just needed help escaping.

Mia took a few more moments to collect herself. She was dizzy, but she kept breathing through it. "God, Jackie. I messed up so bad. You're going to be so disappointed in me."

"I think I'll be okay. It's you I'm worried about here." To emphasize her point, she squeezed her hand gently.

"Okay." She took a deep, calming breath. "Okay. Here's the thing. The thing. The thing is…"

"Mia. Come on."

"Right. Here it is. I'm… You know, the thing? The thing is that I'm… I'm pregnant."

An epic pause filled the air and Mia could see the information processing behind Jackie's blue eyes. Finally, she spoke.

"Pregnant? Mia Jones is pregnant?"

Mia bowed her head in shame, letting more silent tears roll down her face.

"Oh. Wow. You and Lucas-"

She cut her off with a nod.

"And you didn't use-"

Another nod.

"Wow."

The air around them was chilly and still. It was almost as though a breeze was passing between them.

"How long have you known?"

"We… did, you know, like a month and a half ago. At a party. And now I'm late and I've been getting sick all the time. And I always have to pee. So I took a home test today, and it said it was positive." She paused. "But maybe it's a false positive. I mean, those happen sometimes, right?"

"Right. I think the only way to know for sure is to go to the doctor."

"But I don't want anyone to find out! I'm only thirteen! This can't be happening!" She was beginning to get more hysterical.

"I know." Jackie continued to rub Mia's back. "Who knows, besides me?'

"Jane. And she didn't stick around to find anything out. She was so angry. I think she hates me now."

Jackie scoffed. "Typical. I didn't think you could trust her."

Mia looked up, staring into her old friend's eyes. They were as warm and comforting as a newborn puppy. "Jackie, can I trust you? After everything I've done, do I still have your trust?"

Jackie smiled, pulling Mia into a hug. "Of course. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere."

**OOC/ So I needed to bring in someone for Mia to lean on now that Jane's friendship is out of her life. I based Jackie off of the first season Manny; naïve, adorable, and trustworthy. She would basically follow Mia to death. It was Mia who left Jackie, after all. She would never leave her.**

**Next chapter, Mia will either tell her mother, Lucas, or both. Those will be the most difficult to write. I know how both will react, but getting the right feeling for Mia is going to be challenging.**

**I want to warn everyone now that this fanfiction will deal with the subject of abortion. If that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip the chapter that will have the content. I will make a warning before the chapter in bold so everyone knows. I just wanted to clear that out right now before I forgot 3**

**So until next time, my faithful readers! Continue to review and let me know. I need some comments to help me along. I am such a struggler like that.**

**-ELPHIE**


	4. Chapter 4: Who Knew?

**OOC/ If I owned Degrassi… now, wouldn't that be absolutely spectacular?**

**Brace Yourself: Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 4:  
Who Knew?

_You took my hand, you showed me how  
You promised me you'd be around  
__I took your words and I believed  
__In everything you said to me_

_If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them up  
Cause they're all wrong  
I know better cause you said forever  
And ever… Who knew?_

_Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything_

_When someone said count your blessings now  
For they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how  
I was all wrong  
They knew better; still you said forever  
And ever… Who knew?_

_I'll keep you locked in my head  
Until we meet again  
And I won't forget you my friend  
What happened?_

_If someone said three years from now  
You'd be long gone  
I'd stand up and punch them out  
Cause they're all wrong and  
That last kiss I'll cherish  
Until we meet again  
And time makes it harder  
I wish I could remember  
But I keep your memory  
You visit me in my sleep  
My darling… Who knew?_

--

_Today, I'm telling Lucas. Lucas has a right to know, regardless of what I decide to do about this baby. Today- I am telling Lucas that I am pregnant with his child. Today._

She had to keep motivating herself to get out of bed. It was the following Saturday; exactly one week since she had told Jackie that she was pregnant. The school week had been a nightmare. Jane still wasn't speaking to her, and Mia doubted that she ever would. According to Lucas's actions, his sister hadn't told him that he was to be a father.

No one at school seemed to notice anything different about Mia, apart from the fact that she wasn't constantly at Jane's side. Nevertheless, she had the sickening suspicion that everyone… knew. Maybe there was a sign on her forehead: Baby On Board. It felt like every person who passed her in the hall had an accusatory stare on their faces. Still, she kept walking.

Apart from Jackie and Jane, no one knew she was pregnant. Really, she felt like there were only two people who still needed to know- Lucas and her mother. She shivered at the thought of telling both of them.

But it had to be done. And she had decided that today was the day she was going to tell Lucas. There was no going back. She had called him and they were meeting at The Dot in twenty minutes.

She showered, her hands gently washing her stomach as though her baby could feel her touch, then proceeded to get dressed. She was only six weeks pregnant, but she was beginning to feel more and more self-conscious about the baby bump that would be. Choosing her largest sweatshirt, a maroon one she had purchased from a garage sale, she wrote a note for her sleeping mother and headed out the door.

It was October. The trees were beginning to change color, and some of the leaves were falling. By the time the snow melted, and the winds changed, she would be a mother. By going online and using a conception calculator, Mia had determined that she was due to have her baby sometime in May. Just before school got out. Right when she was set to finish eighth grade. Just before everything changed.

When she arrived at The Dot, she was surprised to see Lucas already there. He was seated by the window, his chair kicked up, leaning on the back legs. She couldn't help but smile and headed toward him.

"Hey there, baby," he said as she sat down across from him. A waiter, with a nametag that read "Gavin," handed her a menu. She cracked it open, but was disappointed to realize that everyone on the menu made her feel sick as she read. Closing it, she began to sip on her water.

"Gonna have the usual?" Lucas asked, looking her in the eyes. She felt her face flush.

"I think I'll just have soup today."

An awkward pause hung in the air. She had mentioned on the phone that they had to talk. He was just waiting for her to start.

When she didn't say anything, he began to get impatient.

"Mia, Johnny and the guys are waiting for me at Nic's house. This had better be important."

She choked on her water, coughing into her sleeve. "It is," she managed to spit out after a few more coughs. "It really is."

"Well then, what is it?"

Before she could answer, Gavin was back. "Anything I can get for you two?" he asked in a monotone voice, obviously bored with the job he had and wishing he could get out and enjoy the day.

"I'll have a burger and she'll have the soup. Now go." Lucas slammed the menus into Gavin's hands and shooed him away back toward the kitchen.

"Mia, I'm serious. What do we have to talk about?" She could tell that he was getting frustrated with her silence. She was just unsure how to begin. Where did one begin when she was getting ready to confirm the end of the world she knew?

"Lucas, I…" She could feel hot tears boil into the backs of her eyes and she blinked them away furiously. She would not cry. She would not lower herself to cry anymore. She had done enough of that over the past week to last a lifetime.

"What?"

"I'm… I'm pregnant."

His face contorted from frustration to confusion to fury in a matter of seconds.

"You're pregnant? And you're sure?"

She nodded, officially unable to control her tears. They rolled carelessly down her cheeks and landed in her lap. "I took a test, and it was positive."

"But I pulled out. There was no way we couldn't gotten pregnant."

"I know. It just happened-"

"It's obviously not mine."

It took her a few moments to process what was being said. "What? Of course it's yours-"

"How can I believe you? It can't be mine. I pulled out. Who else have you been sleeping with?"

"I've only ever slept with you! And that was my first time, you know that!"

"I thought I knew you, Mia. God, you're a filthy slut. You're a slut and you lied to me about being a virgin."

She was too shocked to say anything. She was expecting Lucas to get upset, but she never could've conjectured that he would react like _this. _How could he jump to conclusions like that?

"How can you accuse me of cheating on you? I love you! I would never do anything to hurt you!"

"Whatever, Mia. Those are just empty words." He stood up. "From now on, we're over. Through. I can't be with someone who cheats on me, and then gets pregnant."

"I did not cheat on you!" She was hysterical, and the entire café was staring. "I would never cheat on you! Please don't go! You're not giving me a chance to explain!"

He slammed his chair into the table, causing her water to tip into her lap. An ice cold shiver ran up her entire body. Shaking his head, his words turned from a whisper to a scream."You're such a whore. A big, fat, dirty whore."

The door to The Dot opened, then closed with a crash. He was gone.

He was gone. Gone.

Gone?

Before she had a chance to finalize everything that had happened, Gavin was back. With him was a stack of napkins and her bowl of soup.

"Are you okay?" he asked, setting the soup in front of her and handing her the napkins for the mess on her lap. She whimpered, but nodded her head. She wanted nothing more than to just flee from the scene, to never come back to this place again.

"Okay." He dipped his head to her and headed back to wipe a table on the other side of the room. Leaving a ten dollar bill on the table, she got up and left, not touching her food and not bothering to mop up the water on her front.

When she got outside of the café, she screamed.

She screamed louder than she ever had. She screamed for everything she had lost and for everything that would change.

She screamed until she wouldn't feel anything anymore. She wanted to become numb; to disappear.

She kept screaming until she fell hoarse and was unable to scream anymore.

The wind around her howled.

She was only thirteen.

**OOC/ I'm not sure if Spinner would work at The Dot at this time, but we're just gonna roll with it.**

**This was hard to write; I really didn't want to make Lucas the 'good guy' in anyway. I wanted him to offer no support, nothing. Nada, nada, enchilada.**

**I know that atleast one other chapter has ended in the same fashion. I am the kind of person who likes to repeat common themes throughout a chapter or a fic. That's just my style. Sorry if it bothers anyone.**

**Please send some more reviews my way! I need to know what is good and/or what is bad so I can change and further advance my writing style.**

**Until later! –salutes-**

**-ELPHIE**


	5. Chapter 5: Fallen Angel

**OOC/ This is one of my absolute favorite songs and I am thrilled to find a place for it in this story. Frankie Valli is my favorite singer and **_**Jersey Boys**_** is one of my favorite Broadway shows. As most of you should know by now, I am a total Broadway freak. But anyway… presenting the amazing Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, with the wonderful song writing of band member Bob Gaudio!**

**Brace Yourself: Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter Five:  
Fallen Angel

_You're home again, I'm glad you kept the key  
Been waiting here, it seemed a million years to me  
But hush now I know you're all cried out  
It's all right inside, I've had no doubt  
About your love for me  
I can see behind the tears  
I'm certain of the way we feel  
And given time the hurt will heal_

_I need you, I think I always will  
From time to time you play around  
But I love you still  
You tried them all, at ev'rybody's beck and call  
Maybe you resist them all  
When I tell you how I missed you_

_You're home again so won't you close the door?  
Stay here with me and  
We'll forget what's gone before  
Just hold me tight  
Our love is gonna make it right  
Put shadows way beyond recall  
The ghost has almost gone_

_Fallen angel__, I'll forgive you anything  
You can't help the things you do  
Now something's gotten hold of you  
Fallen angel, got a demon in your soul  
And later when the fever's gone  
I'll be here where you belong_

--

She arrived home and was surprised to find her mother sitting at the kitchen table, drinking her morning coffee. It was nearly noon; because her mother worked the night shift at the shop yesterday, she assumed that she would be asleep for the vast majority of the day.

"Hey, Mia." She didn't turn around; she just continued to read the paper. "How's Lucas?"

She didn't see her daughter begin to cry again, her eyes already completely bloodshot and saturated with enough tears to rival those of a newborn infant.

"Mia?"

She choked on her sobs and sat down next to her mother, her entire body trembling with exhaustion, grief, and shock. "Mommy, I need help."

"Honey, what's going on?" She was equally as shocked to see her daughter vulnerable, let along talking to her. Ever since her transformation into someone she wasn't used to seeing, they didn't have the best relationship and would often times go days without saying anything to each other.

Mia brought her hands to her face, her sobs becoming tearless. She assumed that she had finally run out.

Her mother attempted to remain calm. Scenarios were dangerously running through her mind. Her daughter had been assaulted. She had stolen something. She was addicted to drugs. She didn't know what to do with herself. She was thinking of killing herself.

"Mommy, I made a mistake."

With open arms, Mia crawled into her mother's lap. Holding her close, her mother began to run her fingers through her hair, the curled brown locks closing in around her hands.

"What did you do, baby?" She kissed the top of her head.

"I'm pregnant. And Lucas is gone. Jane isn't speaking to me. And I don't know what to do."

She looked into her mother's now frozen brown eyes and shut her own. She could tell she was breaking her mother's heart. That, above anything, hurt her the most.

Without saying anything, she got up and rushed up to her room, slamming the door as she hurled herself onto her bed, face down into the pillow.

Silence echoed around her. She was getting used to being able to hear the blood pound in her ears. Her head ached. She now wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and sleep her way through the next nine months.

It took a few minutes for her mother to work up the courage to stand up and head up to her daughter's room. The door was unlocked and she pushed her way in.

"Mia, please. Talk to me. This is serious." Her voice was steady and calm, which startled Mia. She had expected her mother to be furious; to throw her out of the house and wish to never see her again.

"I told you." Her voice was muffled into her pillow. "I'm pregnant. Lucas is gone. And Jane isn't speaking to me."

She could feel soft hands on her back, rubbing her in circles. "And I don't know what to do, Mom. Everything's wrong."

Her mother sighed and sat down on the ground beside her bed. "Mia, are you one hundred percent sure you're pregnant? Did you use protection?"

She shook her head. "I… I didn't think you could get pregnant your first time. And Lucas pulled out." Her face turned crimson as she spoke. "I didn't think it would happen to us."

"Have you been to the clinic?"

She sat up. "No. Not yet. I wanted… I wanted to tell Lucas first. I didn't think he would just leave. He doesn't want anything to do with me or this baby." Her hands rested onto her stomach again. "I can't believe all of this happened."

"We need to go to the clinic. We need to confirm your pregnancy and make sure you don't have any STD's. And then we'll decide what to do."

She nodded, then her eyes softened and she looked up at her mother, unable to bear it. "Mommy, are you mad at me? Do you hate me? I'm so sorry I've ruined everything."

"Of course I'm not mad. I'm disappointed that you didn't use protection. Of course I don't hate you, Mia. I love you more than anyone else on this planet." She pulled her daughter into a hug, and Mia was comforted by the familiar smell that greeted her. "We'll sort this out. You don't need Lucas or Jane. I'm here for you."

"And Jackie is too," she whispered.

She could feel her mother smile. "You'll never be alone." She pulled Mia away to look her straight in the eye. "Someone is always here for you." Her fingers wiped the hair away from her daughter's face. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mom."

She kissed her forehead, then pulled her back into a hug. "I'm so glad you've come home."

**OOC/ So I wanted it to seem that Mia's relationship with her mother was completely broken from her change of personality from the good girl to the party liking bad girl. This is what makes this scene so special. Maybe Mia's mother is almost happy that her daughter is pregnant- it brought them back together. That's just me looking to deeply into the character.**

**So now Mia is ready to begin the epic journey of pregnancy!**

**DISCLAIMER: Kids, use protection if you decide to have sex. You CAN get pregnant from your first sexual encounter, and you CAN get STD's. The 'pulling out' method is not in anyway effective. Just be safe; use a condom every time.**

**I found a song that works too well to not use, so the next chapter will be a flashback from Mia's mother's point of view. She needs a name, because it wasn't established in the episode with her one appearance (Sweet Child O' Mine, 716). I guess I will make that up to me.**

**Until next time, folks! And please review! Aren't you proud of how much I have been updating lately??**

**-ELPHIE**


	6. Chapter 6: Slipping Through My Fingers

**OOC/ WOW! Three reviews in one day! I nearly cried with happiness! No, just kidding. But I was completely ecstatic.**

**Brace Yourself:**

**Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 6:  
Slipping Through My Fingers

_Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning  
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile  
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness  
And I have to sit down for a while  
The feeling that I'm losing her forever  
And without really entering her world  
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter  
That funny little girl_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_  
_I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
Do I really see what's in her mind  
Each time I think I'm close to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time_

_Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table  
Barely awake, I let precious time go by  
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling  
And a sense of guilt I can't deny  
What happened to the wonderful adventures  
The places I had planned for us to go  
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't  
And why I just don't know_

_Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture  
And save it from the funny tricks of time  
Slipping through my fingers..._

--

The still air of night came upon Toronto. The clouds turned grey, then black, and it seemed as though the entire world came to a stand still. The wind dulled from a roaring bluster to a gentle breeze.

Lori Jones was seated beside her daughter's bed, watching her sleep. She had fallen asleep almost instantly after calming down enough to take a few deep breaths. She was so tired… so exhausted from everything she had been through the past few days.

Lori could hardly remember being this close to her daughter since her days in elementary school. Mia used to be so simple. So carefree, so innocent.

Oh, how those days were gone…

"Mommy, it's time to go!"

_The first day of kindergarten. Lori could almost feel her daughter's anticipation and excitement radiate off of her. She couldn't help but smile, but her own nerves weighed her down. Mia was starting school. Her only child, the love of her life, was going to be leaving her for the real world._

_Was she really five already?_

"_Mommy, we're going to be late!" With the hand that wasn't already grasping her brown bag lunch, she took her mother's hand. "I don't want to be late on my first day."_

How punctual,_ Lori thought, squeezing Mia's hand tight against her own hoping that maybe, just maybe, she could freeze the scene before her and store it in her memory for later when Mia wasn't always at her side._

_They walked hand in hand to the bus stop. Already there was Jackie Steinberg with her mother Rebecca, Molly Osthman with her mother Brenda and her father Martin, and Logan Moores with his step-mother Karen and father Mike. Mia ran as fast as she could away from Lori to meet Jackie._

_She waved goodbye with an absent-minded smile as the bus pulled up._

_She was ready for the world._

_Lori watched her daughter go, feeling suddenly empty. Would she come back the same person?_

_She blinked, and Mia was gone._

Everything had been so much simpler then. The only things that caused riffs between the two were bad grades and when Mia was occasionally late for her 7:30 pm curfew. But now? Lori hardly knew her daughter anymore.

When she had become pregnant with Mia, she had these fantasies planned out for the two of them to have as their lives progressed. Mia would remain her best friend. She would go to college at Toronto University, and live at home. They would be close. They would defy the odds that they would ever drift apart.

How she had been wrong…

"_Mom, you don't understand. I'm in junior high now. I don't want to wear all this stuff." Mia was holding the outfit she had worn for her first day of fifth grade the previous year: blue jeans with purple fleece around the cuffs, a purple shirt with the outline of a tiger in black, with plain white tennis shoes and a purple scrunchie._

"_You think I can just drop everything I have so we can go out and get you new clothes? Mia, the world doesn't work that way. We just don't have the money to do that, especially when the clothes you have now are fine."_

_She could see her daughter growing more and more frustrated with her words. "God, Mom! You don't remember what it's like to be in junior high, do you? These clothes will ruin me!"_

_She couldn't help but laugh. "You think clothes define the person?"_

"_It's no just the clothes. It's… it's the reputation. I'm tired of being who I was in elementary school. I don't want to be the good-goody with the perfect grades and the boring personality. I want to be someone who people will like!"_

"_Mia, people already like you. You have Jackie and Rosa and Marie. You really think that they are going to stop liking you because you are the same person who you were last year? They'll probably respect you even more." She turned to leave. "I'm sorry. But you'll have to make due with what you have."_

_She could hear Mia yelling as she shut the door. "I hate you! I wish I had a different family! Someone who actually loves me!"_

She shook her head of the memory, her face becoming hot with shame. Why hadn't she seen her daughter change before her eyes? Why hadn't she tried to stop her, to bring her back to the person she wanted her to be? Every fantasy she had once created had been shattered over the years, until there was hardly a decent place to use the word 'friends' instead of estranged mother and daughter.

Everything she had ever wanted for her little girl was gone.

Now she was pregnant- pregnant! Was she really that bad of a parent that she hadn't even tried to leash her back to her side?

_She was completely drunk._

_Laughter filled the hall of the Jones house. Lori lay in her bed on the top floor, listening to her daughter and her friends coming home. Late again, she noted as she looked at the clock beside her bed. It was nearly 11:00._

_She could've gone downstairs to scold Mia for clearly disobeying the minimal rules she had set out for her. If she had, she would've seen how wasted Mia and Jane were after a night of hard partying at Drake Lempkey's house._

_But Lori had already given up. She couldn't stand to see her girl unhappy. So she just stayed put in her bed. The laughing that came from the kitchen filled her heart with joy. Mia was happy. She was excited. She was carefree again._

_Maybe she hadn't lost her for good._

_Maybe she was still in there, behind the broken eyes that stared at her every morning at the breakfast table._

_Feeling satisfied, she shut off the light and rolled over to sleep._

If only she had tried harder. Maybe her little girl wouldn't be pregnant.

Maybe everything wouldn't be lost.

Tears filled her eyes and they fell onto the floor beneath her. Here they were, thirteen years after Lori had planned everything out. Now Mia was going to have her own child to care for and raise.

She gently nudged her over toward the wall and climbed in beside her. Mia didn't stir; she just flipped onto her other side. Lori grasped her hand.

She was going to try this again. She wasn't going to let this second chance slip through her fingers. She was going to make it right.

New fantasies filled her mind and they made her smile more broadly than she had in months. Maybe everything wasn't lost.

Maybe there was something to hope for after all.

**OOC/ Because I am not a mother, this was rather hard to write. I hope it's accurate. I doubt it is. Oh well.**

**So the next chapter will deal with abortion. Feel free to skip it if you are uncomfortable with the subject matter. I will have another warning at the top of the next chapter to remind everyone what is to come.**

**So keep reviewing, my faithful readers. Without reviews, I just don't have the motivation to continue!! And wouldn't it suck to end this one right here?**

**No pressure, right?? :)**

**-ELPHIE THE GREAT**


	7. Chapter 7: Throw Yourself Away

**OOC/**

**WARNING: This chapter contains subject matter about abortion. If this is uncomfortable for you, dear reader, feel free to skip this chapter and join us again for the next ones :) Maybe let me know you were here though, via review? Haha!!**

**Brace Yourself:**

**Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 7:  
Throw Yourself Away

_Baby's born on a bathroom floor  
Her mother prays that it'll never cry  
But nothing's wrong you've got you prom dress on  
__When they ask you'll say "It isn't mine."_  
_You know they're gonna know you lied_

_Why the hell don't you throw yourself away?  
You know they're gonna burn it down  
Wash my hands of this  
You notice how God ain't even helpin' you out  
Wash my hands of this  
You notice how God ain't even helping you out  
Why the hell don't you throw yourself away?_

_You know they're gonna burn it down  
So keep the way you feel anonymous  
And hide it all until the day you die  
You're secret's safe, at least you thought it was  
You can only cape it for a little while_

_And damn you for thinking we will never know  
And damn you for thinking we would never mind  
Only reason that you made it this far  
You have never asked but you never tried  
And now you're terrified…_

--

"There are some options for you, Mia. But please, take your time and think about what you want to do."

Next to her, Mia felt her mother squeeze her hand in reassurance. The woman before her, a nurse at the clinic named Chelsea, looked on with concern on her pale face. Mia could tell that she was judging her, even though she claimed to be neutral. Like Switzerland. Neutral.

Mia didn't buy it. Behind Chelsea's caring, dedicated eyes, she could feel her stabbing into her, wondering why on earth someone so young could've made such a stupid mistake.

Self consciously, she placed her hands on her lower abdomen.

"Thank you, Chelsea," Lori said gently, shaking the nurse's hand. "We'll be in touch and we'll let you know what we decide to do."

Mia stood up and exited the room without saying another word to her mother or to the nurse.

Jackie was waiting for her in the waiting room, flipping through an old issue of _The Core._

"So?" she questioned, standing up to face Mia and Lori. Mia didn't need her to finish the question. She knew what she was going to ask. She nodded.

"It's true. I'm definitely pregnant. No doubt about it." Her tone was shallow, barely skimming the surface of how absolutely terrified she was now that the news was clear.

Jackie nodded, pursing her lips. "Do you have any idea what you want to do?" she voiced, unsure if now was the right time to ask.

She responded with a shrug as the three of the headed out to Lori's car. "I don't know. I don't know what to do."

Jackie opened the car door for Mia, and they both climbed into the back. "Well, what are your options?"

"Hungry?" Lori interrupted. "We could all go someplace and get something to eat."

Jackie nodded eagerly, and Mia shrugged. It seemed to be her new response to everything.

"My options? I could keep the baby. I could carry the baby to full term and give it up for adoption. Or… or I could have an abortion."

She felt her friend tense beside her and she let her shoulders sag. Of course, Jackie would be against abortion. She came from a very devout Catholic family, and they were rather right wing and pro life. To be honest, Mia was surprised that Jackie was being as supportive as she was, because she was so against pre-marital sex.

Nobody spoke until they got to the restaurant, Bonjour Brioche on Queen Street at DeGrassi Street. Although it was rather expensive, Mia didn't question if her mother had the funds to afford the meal. She was just thankful to be out of the car. She was beginning to feel sick.

After ordering, Jackie turned to face Mia once again. "Mia, you're not really going to have an abortion, are you?"

"Jackie-" Lori tried to intercept the conversation, but her daughter stopped her.

"It's okay, Mom. I need to figure this out."

There was an awkward tension. Then, Mia spoke.

"I might get an abortion. I don't know if I'm ready to have a kid. It wasn't exactly on my lists of things to do yet." She paused, thinking hard about what to say. "And I don't know if I want to be pregnant. I don't want to be a huge, pregnant seventh grader. Everyone would know." She could feel herself growing warm. "I would be so embarrassed."

"So you'd rather kill your baby then go through a little embarrassment? Think about the family you would be helping if you gave it up for adoption!" Mia could tell that Jackie was beginning to become hysterical.

She swallowed hard, trying hard not to cry. More than anything, she was tired of crying over everything that happened. She needed to remain strong.

"I don't know what to do," she said with exasperation, burying her face into her hands. "I wish there wasn't a decision to make! I just want this to be all over."

Her mother took her hand. "Honey, if you really want it to be all over, then you know what you can do. And I'm right here for you, whatever you decide to do." Lori shot a glance at Jackie, hoping she would second what had been said. To her disappointment, Jackie shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Mia. I can't support you if you decide to have an abortion." She stood up, putting her jacket on. "I should probably get home. Thanks for everything, Ms. Jones." She dropped a few dollars onto the table, then walked outside to wait for the bus.

Mia didn't have the strength to protest. "I want to go home, Mom," she whispered, her eyes not leaving the door that Jackie had exited from. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Her mother sighed. "Let me just get this stuff to go, okay?"

She nodded, knowing how much her mother hated to waste food. It didn't take long to change the order to go, and soon they were back in the car, heading toward home.

"I thought Jackie was supposed to be your friend," Lori said between clenched teeth as her hands gripped the steering wheel. Mia shrugged again. Typical.

"It's nothing, Mom. You know the kind of family she comes from. She's still my friend…"

"Will she be your friend if you do decide to have an abortion?"

Mia felt her face flush. "I don't know. At this point, part of me doesn't even care. I just want to do the right thing. Whatever that may be."

But the part of her that did care really understood where Jackie was coming from. This was an actual life, as opposed to her social life. She wasn't sure if that part of her was only defending her friend out of desperation, or if she really understood the gravity of killing the child. But… could she even call it a child yet? At this point it was just a barely-formed wormy thing. Was it so bad if she got the abortion that made so many people cringe in disgust? She sighed heavily, feeling more conflicted than she had ever before felt.

"Mom, what would you do in my position?"

The pause that filled the air was both long and awkward. But based on the question, that much had been evident even before the last syllable had been uttered. Mia longed to spare a glance to the drivers seat to see her mother's expression, but at the same time dared not to. Instead she picked uncomfortably at her fingernail, focusing all of her attention onto it.

"That's… difficult to say, Mia," Lori spoke slowly, choosing her words with utmost deliberation. Mia didn't even need to look up. She could imagine the pink tinge to Lori's cheeks, and the struggle to find the right thing to say glittering in her eyes. "I'd have to consider my options very carefully…"

"Yeah, yeah, options," Mia brushed off the comment with an absent wave of her hand, "I know all this. I mean, after you were done considering, what would you do?"

Another pause. It was absolutely maddening. Mia had picked her nail down to a ragged stub, and moved on to the next one, chewing off a particularly stubborn bit. She watched the digital clock on the dash. Could those really be mere minutes ticking by? She could have sworn that hours had been passing since she'd voiced her innocent inquiry. She waited until roughly eight minutes had passed before sighing and looking up.

"Never mind," she muttered at last, slumping hopelessly down in her seat, "You don't have to answer."

"Oh, baby…" Lori took one hand off the wheel to comfortingly grip Mia's shoulder, "I realize how difficult this must be for you."

_Yeah, no thanks to you_. But Mia chose not to speak her mind at that moment. Instead she just nodded sadly, watching the world through the slightly dingy windshield. Her mom seemed to sense her disappointment and returned both hands to the wheel.

Mia found herself pondering why she was feeling so disappointed. Had she been hoping that mummy would give her an easy answer to this problem? A quick fix? Lori couldn't even help her when she brought home difficult homework. She realized in a flash that she couldn't just find a solution by asking someone else. Besides, it seemed that any choice she made would be completely wrong in the eyes of another.

She hadn't expected everything to be so hard. She hadn't exactly expected anything. How could she, when this hadn't been on her list of things to do by the time she reached her seventh grade year,

It wasn't supposed to be this way. But did that mean that she had the liberty to end the life of a potential child that would probably bring her so much joy and love in the future?

"Mom… did you ever consider having an abortion with me?" She hadn't meant to speak it. It had just slipped out of her mouth. It was question that she had never asked before and wasn't ever planning on it, afraid of what the answer could be.

Her mother had been rather young, in her mid twenties, when she had become pregnant with Mia. She had been seeing the man who was her father when she had become pregnant, but he had proceeded to run out of their lives when he learned of the pregnancy. _Just like Lucas_, Mia thought bitterly, but swallowed her own feelings as she waited for her mother to reply.

It didn't take nearly as much time to answer than it had for her rhetorical question before. Her mother took her eyes off of the road to look Mia straight in the eye. Thankfully, they were at a red light.

"My friends wanted me to," she began, her face expressionless. "Gramma wanted me to, as well. But I was in the position where I could care for a child. I had a good job. I was happy, healthy. I had great friends, and I almost felt like it was right. I never considered having an abortion, Mia. But that was nothing like this. This… this is new territory completely."

_Which is why you had nothing to say before._ She nodded at her mother's story as the light turned green. They were almost home.

She climbed awkwardly out of the front seat as her mother pulled the van into the driveway. Looking down, she hurried into the house, eager to retreat to her room and disappear into her thoughts, where there was no baby and no decision to make.

"Mia?" Her mother was calling her from the bottom of the stairs. She turned around, hand gripped the railing.

"Yeah?"

"You forgot something." Lori took a black photo out of her purse and walked up the stairs to hand it to her daughter before heading back downstairs into the kitchen.

Mia didn't look at it until she was safe behind her locked door. Laying on her bed, her eyes took it all in. It… it was her. Well, it was the inside of her. Circled in white was a small bean shaped sect.

Her child.

She almost stopped breathing. Staring back at her was her unborn child. Her own flesh and blood. What could one day be her everything.

It took her a few moments to regain her breath. It was real. This was her reality. How could she change what had already happened? She didn't have that right.

It wasn't the child's fault.

Her fingers traced over the picture, then over her own stomach. And, although the baby wasn't along that far developmentally, Mia thought she could feel it's heart beating beneath her hands.

Reaching for the phone beside her bed, she quickly dialed and put the receiver to her ear.

"Jackie? It's Mia… yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna keep this baby."

And for the first time in weeks, she smiled.

**OOC/ Before I say anything else, I have to give a HUGE thanks to my dearest friend Fear for helping me write this chapter when I was struggling with writer's block. She is my hero.**

**Anyway- this was the hardest chapter yet. I didn't want Jackie to be the bad guy and leave like Jane and Lucas did. I just wanted to bring in how uncomfortable it makes some people when abortion is brought up. I should also mention that I am pro-choice, yadda yadda. Okay. Done with that ramble.**

**Next chapter will be up soon! Please review, especially on this chapter. I need feedback on how it all came together.**

**-ELPHIE**


	8. Chapter 8: Everybody's Changing

**OOC/ For anyone who chose to skip the previous chapter because of subject content: Mia decided to go through and have the baby, **_**and**_** she is going to keep it. Who else saw that coming?? Haha, my humor must only work on me.  
**

**This is a personal favorite song of mine. It always reminds me of my dear friend Kay.**

**And that was my ramble for the… moment. **

**Brace Yourself:  
Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 8:  
Everybody's Changing

_You say you wander your own land  
But when I think about it  
I don't see how you can  
You're aching, you're breaking  
And I can see the pain in your eyes  
Says everybody's changing  
And I don't know why_

_So little time  
Try to understand that I'm  
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game  
I try to stay awake and remember my name  
But everybody's changing  
And I don't feel the same_

_You're gone from here  
__And soon you will disappear_  
_Fading into beautiful light  
Cause everybody's changing  
And I don't feel right_

_So little time  
Try to understand that I'm  
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game  
I try to stay awake and remember my name  
But everybody's changing  
And I don't feel the same..._

--

Her mind darted around the classroom. She could swear that everyone was staring at her, although all eyes seemed to be focused on the teacher, Mr. Sorenson, who was putting the definition of the word 'exponent' on the chalkboard behind him.

She was now twelve weeks pregnant. Twelve long weeks ago, she had been a carefree, albeit risky, teenager. Now she was a thirteen year old with more responsibilities than anyone else could imagine. She had to watch what she ate. She had to rest whenever possible. She had to always be watching out for potentially dangerous situations for her unborn child- no drinking, no being around smokers.

On the grander scheme of things, her morning sickness was beginning to go away. At first it had been so bad that she barely had the strength to get out of bed, let alone function at school. Over the last six weeks, she had missed ten of the thirty school days. She could barely eat anything without having to rush to the bathroom and immediately throw up. Her mother claimed that it was because she was having a girl, but she wasn't sure. A great majority of her had a feeling that she was carrying a boy, and was already (although not telling anyone about it) thinking of names for him.

But, above everything else that had changed from week one to week six, and then from week six to week twelve, the biggest adjustment she had to make was that over half of the student population was informed that she was pregnant. And if someone didn't know yet, it wouldn't be long until they did. Mia wasn't sure how they had all gained access to the information, but was certain that it hadn't been Jackie who had spread it. Her suspicions were placed on Jane who, as she knew so well, was known for her gossiping. If it wasn't someone asking her if the rumors were true, it was someone making snide comments to her from across the hall. Generally, she had to hide her face to keep making people believe that she was strong. That she was handling it.

But, everything was changing.

Her mind couldn't focus on the math before her. Who in their right mind honestly cared what six raised to the fifth power was anyway? As she always did in situations were she felt uncomfortable, she lifted her hands from the desk top before her and let them slide down her lap and rest on her lower abdomen. She was almost comforted by the touch of her own stomach, as though she was becoming one with the baby growing inside of her.

Her comfort didn't last long.

"Hey, Mia!"

Mr. Sorenson had left the room to go make copies of the worksheet they would all be getting for homework about powers and exponents. Mia turned around, becoming face to face with Johnny diMarco, one of Lucas's best friends.

"Know who the daddy is yet?" he asked, his voice becoming louder with each word. The majority of the student body began to snigger, whispering into other classmates' ears and gesturing toward Mia.

It was like a scene out of a stereotypical high school soap opera. She even felt as though her 'camera view' was going in and out of focus, as though her vision was trying to create a more dramatic effect for her mind.

Finally, sense snapped back into her mind. Twelve weeks ago, she wouldn't have let anyone, especially someone like Johnny, talk to her like that. An old spark, buried someplace deep in her body behind her newfound pregnancy fears, began to flame and within seconds she was on her feet.

"Oh, yes. Of course I know who my baby daddy is, you stupid idiot." She paused. Then: "It's you. You're gonna be a freaking father!" Her voice was clenched and her eyes were alive and fiery. It didn't take long for her balled fist to collide with his jaw and he fell backward, tipping off of his chair and landing onto the floor with a loud thud.

The entire class went stark silent, all eyes watching Mia, all ears listening. Breathing heavily, she slammed her chair into her desk, grabbed her math book, and stormed out of the class, passing a disheveled Mr. Sorenson in the hallway.

"Mia, Mia Jones! Where are you going? Class doesn't end for another five minutes!"

She didn't turn to face her teacher. She just kept walking, up the stairs of Lakehurst Junior High, to her locker, then out the door.

She wasn't at all surprised to find Lucas sitting on the ledge outside of the school's front entrance, smoking a cigarette and watching the traffic pass by.

The already gassed up flame in her chest rose to near boiling point. No longer thinking about the consequences of her actions, she stormed over to where he sat, his eyes distant and lost as he stared blankly across the field.

"You are such a jerk!" She wanted nothing more than to punch him, too. But, if she knew the class that she had just left well enough, they had told Mr. Sorenson what had happened and he was looking for her, ready to bring her for a nice long visit with the school principal, Ms. Dunbarr. She could almost smell the suspension that was in her immediate future.

At her words, he turned to face her. "Me, a jerk? Try yourself." Without a second thought, he looked back out toward the street, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

She shook her head, almost smiling to keep herself from wringing her hands around his neck. "Lucas, you know that you were my first. You know that I haven't had sex with anyone else. This baby is your baby, too!" She was becoming quite hysterical as the seconds ticked by. "Why on earth don't you believe me?"

He didn't move, keeping a profile figure to her. "You want to know why?" He flicked the ashes off of his cigarette, then dropped the butt onto the ground. "You really want to know why I don't believe you?" His shoe rubbed the small butt into almost nothingness. "I don't believe you, because only stupid girls get pregnant. And last time I checked, the girl I slept with was anything but stupid." He was tapping his fingers, obviously growing more and more uncomfortable.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Accidents happen! How can you not know that? The birth control method, if you can even call it that, is definitely not fool proof. It only works, like, five percent of the time!"

He didn't respond. He just turned his body away completely so his back was facing her. Taking another cigarette out of the pack in his back pocket, he pulled out his lighter and proceeded to light it.

She had had enough. Knowing that she couldn't physically take him on in a fight, she did the next best thing. She reached into his back pocket, grabbed the almost full pack of cigarettes, then proceeded to swipe the lighter out of his fingers.

"You think this is all some big joke?" She dropped the lighter to the ground and stomped her foot onto it as hard as she could. "You think that I'm just doing this for shits and giggles?" With her hand still holding the pack, she swung and chucked it as far as she could across the lot. They landed and scattered into the street. Car after car drove over them, crushing them into tiny, unusable pieces. "I'm pregnant, you fucking douche bag! Not only am I stuck being pregnant when I'm thirteen, worst of all, I'm stuck carrying your child!" She knew that she needed to walk away. She was almost hyperventilating and she was sure that it wasn't good for the baby.

"Fine, Mia. You're pregnant and it's my child. Whatever."

She bit her lip and turned from him. "I hate you. God! I hate you so much!" She began to storm away, away from the school and away from Lucas.

Away from her old self.

"And tell your stupid sister that I hate her, too!"

"Tell her yourself."

Mia stopped dead in her tracks. Standing in the doorway where she had first come out was Jane.

"You know what, Mia?" Jane took a few steps toward her, and Mia stood her ground. "I came out here to find you and apologize to you. What you did in math to Johnny took guts. But now!" She laughed a bit and began to advance on her, her steps becoming quicker than lightning. "Now, I just think you're a dirty slut who can't keep her pants on!"

Mia didn't even have to think before she reacted to Jane's words. Her hands clawed at her shoulders, and one reached up to take hold of her black hair, yanking it down toward the floor. Jane screamed and attempted to do the same to Mia's brown curls, but she ducked down onto the ground, falling onto her side.

By this time, more Lakehurst students were making their ways outside and were gathering to watch. The chants of "Fight! Fight! Fight!" did nothing but egg the two girls on further. Jane pinned Mia's arms on either side of her head using her knees, and proceeded to slap her face from side to side. Mia brought her leg up to kick her old friend in the groin, which temporarily released her arms from the weights that had been on them. She sprung up to her feet and was about to attack her once again when she felt stronger hands pull her away. She saw sixth grade French teacher Madame Buble pull Jane away in a similar fashion.

Mia was panting. As she caught her breath, her mind switched gears from hurting Jane to her unborn child, nestled warmly in her womb. Suddenly, she felt sick and ashamed of herself. How could she have put her child- her son- in that much danger? She brought her hands to her face as the person restraining her, fellow seventh grader Sav Bhandari, released his grip. She fell to her knees, feeling enough emotions to cause a complete explosion inside of her.

Before long, Ms. Dunbarr had broken up the large crowd and the students were exiting in several directions around her. Soon enough, the only people remaining were Mia, Jane, Sav, Madame Buble, and Ms. Dunbarr. Lucas was nowhere in sight.

"Sav, Madame. Thank you, but I will take it from here." Her eyes bore into Mia, then switched to look at Jane. Sav and the teacher nodded and took their own routes away from the scene. "You two, come with me."

Mia got to her feet and proceeded to follow Jane and the principal back into the school and into her office.

She received three days out of school suspension for her actions, but nothing compared to the feelings she felt deep within herself for the harm she had put her child in.

Lori came to get her, and Mia went straight up to her bedroom and collapsed into a whirlwind of tears. She didn't stop crying until she was asleep in a ball in the middle of her floor.

She wouldn't wake up for nearly eighteen hours.

**OOC/ Phew! That was long, but really fun to write. I knew that it was completely necessary to bring Mia back into the character that we are introduced to in Can't Hardly Wait (604). She shoved Darcy and bitch slapped that Nic character in the span of five seconds. Wanted to get that spirit back into her.**

**I also didn't want her to stay all depressed and withdrawn throughout this ordeal. From what I gathered from Mia's character, she is strong, opinionated, and isn't afraid to take a chance.**

**I hope I brought that back into her during this chapter.**

**Also- I haven't received a review for my last few chapters!! I don't want to hold ransom for them, so can you, kind reader, please just leave a note that you were here and reading? If I get more reviews, I will make sure that all my future chapters are as long as this one, if not longer.**

**Until later, fair friends!! –ELPHIE the BOLD**


	9. Chapter 9: Keep Holding On

**OOC/ Thanks y'all for the reviews! Now, I would like even more!! Heehee, don't make me hold ransom again :) Just kidding. Kind of…………**

**Brace Yourself:**

**Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 9:  
Keep Holding On

_You're not alone, together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
When it gets cold, and it feels like the end  
There's no place to go, you know I won't give in  
No I won't give in_

_Keep holdin' on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just, stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So, keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through_

_So far away, I wish you were here  
Before it's too late; this could all disappear  
Before the doors close and it comes to an end  
With you by my side I will fight and defend  
I'll fight and defend, Yeah yeah_

_Hear me when I say  
When I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be  
Will work out perfectly… yeah, yeah, yeah!_

--

It was the first day of her suspension when her doorbell rang. Her mother was at work, pulling overtime to get some more money to set aside for when the baby arrived. Mia had spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon re-organizing her bedroom, making room for her old crib, changing table, and a small chest of drawers. They didn't have enough room in their house for the baby to have a room of it's own, so it would be living with Mia until her mom could made enough money for them to move to a bigger space.

She hadn't been as angry as Mia had expected. She was mostly disappointed that she had put the baby in harms way, not that her daughter had punched Johnny, screamed at Lucas, and gotten into a fight with Jane all in the span of about fifteen minutes.

Getting into her robe, she hurried down the stairs and pulled the curtain away from the door. Standing outside, holding a bright orange pamphlet, was Jackie. She was beaming and waving frantically. Mia backed up from the door, unlocked it, and let her friend inside.

"You'll never believe what I found!" Jackie exclaimed, kicking off her boots. "Hi, by the way!" She gave Mia a quick hug then sat down at the kitchen table. "Look! Mrs. Garden had some in the health room. It's a free group meeting for pregnant teenagers. It could be great for you to go to."

"A group for pregnant teenagers." It was a question. It was a statement. "They have groups for people like me?" As far as anyone knew, she was the only pregnant student currently at Lakehurst Junior High. "I don't know, Jackie-"

"Just give it a try. It's tonight at 7:30 at the old Lake Hill Community Center. It's the first meeting, and it's only an hour." She unfolded the paper and laid it down on the table. "Topics of discussion: Problems with school, friends, family. Labor and delivery. Morning sickness. To keep, adopt, or abort." She shivered slightly, but continued to read. "Space accommodations. How to make and save money. Going back to school. Nursing. Mia, this is so perfect for you!"

Mia lifted her eyebrows at Jackie's words. "I guess it could be interesting." More than actually listening to some monotone health teacher lecture about having a child, Mia wanted to see who else in the area was pregnant. Like her, as Jackie had put it. "You said it's tonight, right?"

"Yeah. Tonight at 7:30 at the old Lake Hill Community Center." Her words were rushed and frantic, as though they only had five seconds to decide if she would go or not.

"Right." She fumbled with the ties on her robe, feeling uncomfortable. "Would… would you maybe come with me?" She looked up at Jackie, hoping beyond anything that she would say yes. She didn't want to do it alone, but she wasn't in any mood to take her mother. She wasn't off work until 9:30 anyway; she was working from opening to close at the bakery for the next two weeks.

She was surprised to see Jackie's face light up and an even bigger smile fill her lips. "Of course I'd go with you! I was hoping you'd ask!" She jumped up and raced to the other side of the table to hug Mia around the shoulders again. "This is going to be fun, Mia. Really! I promise!"

A look of skepticism crossed Mia's face, but she grinned though it to keep Jackie happy. It didn't look like she had much of a choice in the matter of her going anyway. No matter what she said, Jackie was going to find a way to combat her excuse so she had to go. And if her mother caught word of this group, she would have Mia signed up quicker than she could say she had no desire to take part.

Jackie headed toward the door. "I'll be back around seven. I have to get home and do some chores right now. But be ready, okay? We'll walk, and maybe have time to stop for ice cream or something." She gave Mia one last hug and departed, leaving the pamphlet on the kitchen table.

She walked back into the kitchen and took a seat, putting her feet up on the table and grasping the orange paper between her hands. Opening it, she began to skim the black font. She couldn't believe that there were other pregnant teenagers in Toronto. She should've guessed, though, knowing that Toronto had about five million people. She just thought about finding a support system outside of her mother and Jackie. Everyone else seemed so distant, so far away.

She tucked the paper under her arm and went back to her up room to make herself presentable. The group would be meeting in only three hours.

-x-

She couldn't believe her eyes.

There were so many girls. She did a quick head count, but lost track at twelve. Everyone looked so different, but they all had that one thing in common- the person growing inside of their wombs.

She gripped Jackie's hand harder, relieved but also terrified that she didn't recognize anyone from elementary school who had gone off to different junior highs. So she was the only one she knew. There would be no need for awkward hellos and once again trying to make sense of her situation.

She didn't think she could handle that all over again.

Chairs, about twenty or twenty-five in all, were circled around the big vacant room. Mia took a seat away from anyone else, and Jackie sat down beside her. Her eyes took in the scene again. Directly across from her was a girl who was obviously already in her third trimester. She was probably in high school, maybe a junior or senior. Next to her was a mousy girl who was biting anxiously on her thumbnail. She was maybe as far along as Mia was and probably around the same age. On her right was her mother, patting her back and whispering to her.

They all looked so alone… and yet, comfortable to be where they were. Maybe some of them were just like Mia and were just coming to terms with what was occurring. Maybe others were well along into their pregnancy and getting ready to give birth. Maybe some had just recently discovered and were still unsure how to proceed. Whatever the reason, Mia felt she was where she needed to be.

A middle aged woman, with a name tag that read Margie, took a seat near the door. "Welcome, everyone." Her voice was kind, joyous. Mia couldn't help but listen to her. "Why doesn't everyone take a seat and we can start with introductions." She looked around the room as everyone got situation. More chairs were pulled from a back closet and soon everyone was seated. "My name is Margie Kahnon, and I work for the free clinic on West Queen. I am fifty-eight, and my son Paul just turned forty. That can give you a clue on how old I was when he was born." Some of the adults laughed. "Welcome to all. Now, I just want to lay down a few ground rules before we start with our introductions. Everything that is said here is completely confidential. No one has to say anything they are not comfortable with and everyone is expected to respect anyone else's decisions and choices. We are all in this together. Secondly, if anyone has any questions or ever needs someone to confide in, I am always here to help and listen. I also brought with me some teen mentors, but I will let them introduce themselves." She paused and looked around the room. "All right! Let's get started. How about we say our names, our ages, our schools, and anything you would like to say about your baby, whether it's what you are planning to do, or if you know the gender, or the name, or nothing at all, if you'd prefer."

The girl to Margie's right started the introductions. She was a heavier built girl, and Mia guessed she was only a few years older than she was. "I'm Jocelyn. I'm fifteen and I go to Bardell. I am giving my son up for adoption and I am currently deciding on a family for him to go to." Her face flushed, and Mia immediately wanted to reach her hand across the circle to her. She couldn't believe how much she was ready to open up to these complete strangers. Beside her, Jackie gave her shoulder a quick squeeze.

The introductions continued. Anna was a fourteen-year-old from Westley who was planning on keeping her baby daughter Alisha, who was due right before Christmas. Marney was a seventeen-year-old from Juno High who only five weeks pregnant and wasn't sure what to do. Abby was a sophomore at Lakehurst High who had recently had an abortion and was looking for some support to help her though it.

The girl beside Mia, a tall darker skinned girl named Tabby, told her story of her ten month old daughter Nevaeh, and how she was pregnant again. When the circle ended up at Mia, she cleared her throat to start.

"I'm Mia. I'm thirteen and I got to Lakehurst Junior High. Um, I'm twelve weeks pregnant and I think I'm going to keep my baby." Her hand drifted to her lower abdomen as they did so regularly, and she noticed Margie smile at her.

More girls spoke. A few were keeping their babies. Most were undecided between keeping them or giving them up for a closed adoption. A few already had families picked out. Still others were undecided intirely.

The last three girls, sitting on Margie's left, were the teen mentors. Lacey Mahoney was a senior at Bardell who was planning on majoring in nursing and was eager to begin helping others. Jillian Babbitt was a junior at Oak Ridge and had a sister, a senior at the same school, who was pregnant but didn't want to attend the group. The final girl, a skinny sophomore with blonde hair, took longer with her introduction, prompted by Margie.

"My name is Emma Nelson. I'm a sophomore at Degrassi. My mother, also a graduate of Degrassi, had me when she was fifteen. I'm not pregnant, but I am here to help. I know first hand what all of you are going through, even though I am not in exactly the same place as you. My mom had a hard time deciding what to do, and at first didn't have any support from my father, or her friends. She was at first going to give me up for adoption, but decided to keep me after careful consideration with her mother." She looked at Margie, silently asking if it was okay to keep going, and continued talking on the older woman's nod. "Around Christmas last year, my best friend Manny found out she was pregnant. Not too soon into her pregnancy, she decided to have an abortion. I used to be completely against the idea of abortion, but I have since opened up to it. I am going to be here every week and I really hope to get to know and help some, if not all, of you."

Emma settled back into her seat and smiled across the circle. Mia caught her smile and was comforted by it. Something about her made her feel even more comfortable with the group than she had before.

The meeting lasted for another twenty minutes after introductions. Margie gave out some more pamphlets of information and alerted everyone to the meeting the following week, same time, same place. Then everyone was dismissed for cookies and punch, which had been placed out beforehand.

Mia stood up. Jackie did as well and put on her coat. "Ready to go?"

"In a moment." Her voice was vague. "I just want to talk to someone rally quickly."

"Okay." She sat back down and proceeded to read some of the forms that Margie had dispersed amongst everyone.

It didn't take long to spot Emma in the crowd, talking to Tabby across the room. Mia made her way through the throng of people toward her. By the time she got there, Tabby had left and Emma was pouring herself a glass of punch.

"Hi." She felt mute, at a loss for words. What was she expecting to say, anyway?

Emma looked up. "Hi. You're Mia, right? From Lakehurst?"

Mia nodded. "Um, I was… I was wondering if you could… I don't know the right word. Mentor me, maybe?" She was beginning to feel increasingly stupid.

Emma smiled. "I would love to. Next week my mother is going to be at the meeting, too. She is also available to help. We were hoping to do, as you said, mentoring for someone here."

"Great! Cool, I mean." Her hands were stuck to her stomach, as though she had accidentally put super glue on her sweater. "Well, I should be going."

"Hey, if you ever need to talk, here's my phone number." Emma took a piece of paper out of her pocket and grabbed a pen from the nearest table. "Feel free to give me a call or something." She handed Mia the paper and watched as Mia took it and disappeared back into the crowd, back toward Jackie.

"Ready now?" Jackie asked, waiting for Mia's response before standing up again. When she nodded, she stood energetically and grabbed Mia's coat.

"Still want to stop for ice cream?"

Mia hadn't noticed how hungry she was until Jackie said 'ice cream.' She smiled and nodded again. "Yeah, let's stop by Benny's on the way home."

"Awesome!" She bounded out of the community center with Mia following close behind. She dared a glance over her shoulder before exiting, and gave Emma a wave before heading out after her friend.

**OOC/ Just to clear up anything, I believe it is. . . the end of September or so in the story. Time is one of my biggest mistakes, so I need to keep myself constantly reminded of what season or time or age a certain event or person is. Phew. That sentence makes no sense!**

**I was planning on bringing Emma into the story from the beginning. Emma is my favorite Degrassi character, and I wanted to have a Mia/Emma friendship because I feel like they would be good friends with their personalities. I personally don't believe that Emma is out of character to be at the group and mentoring, because she is little miss cause girl, right?**

**So let me know, please!! I am dying for more reviews! I may have the hold the next chapter for ransome….**

**Peace, love, and sailing- ELPHIE**


	10. Chapter 10: This Is Your Life

**OOC/ So today I opened my email and… SHAZAM! Ten reviews! Thanks, y'all! That means a lot to me :)**

**Brace Yourself:  
Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 10:  
This Is Your Life

_Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead  
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken  
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes  
This is your life and today is all you've got now  
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have  
Don't close your eyes  
_

_This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?  
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose_

_Yesterday is a kid in the corner  
Yesterday is dead and over_

_This is your life, are you who you want to be?_  
_This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?  
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose  
_

_Don't close your eyes_

_This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be?  
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose…_

--

She was definitely beginning to grow up. It was happening faster than she ever imagined it would, but it was certainly there.

She was now twenty weeks pregnant. Five months. Halfway done with the experience that was making her more of a person than anything had prior.

She was showing- she was showing everything. Her mother had turned her old jeans into maternity pants because they didn't have the savings to go out to one of the maternity stores and purchase anything new. Besides, her old jeans were worn in and comfortable, and her mother had added small patches around the cuffs to make them more unique and fun.

She was growing used to having a person growing inside of her. It almost filled her with a sense of peace that nothing else could. Like maybe it was supposed to happen. Maybe it was all fate.

If God, or someone else, was trying to get a hold of her they were, without a doubt, doing it in a very strange way.

"Earth to Mia? Hey, let's keep going. You're on the last question."

Mia looked up. It was four o'clock, a Thursday evening. She was seated at a table at the library, looking out into space. Beside her, Emma was prodding her latest math homework assignment that she had received earlier that day,

"One more? Right." She picked up her pencil and leaned forward in her chair. She placed her free hand, her left one, on her stomach and braced herself.

"A train at the Sault St. Marie station leaves at 9:30. It is traveling at a steady pace of thirty kilometers per hour. It is scheduled to reach its destination at 10:10. How many kilometers does it need to go?" Emma's soft brown eyes bore into Mia, and she began to think.

She had been meeting Emma every day after school since their first meeting at Lake Hill two months prior. She was taking advantage of Emma's mentor status, and she had not only been providing someone to talk to, but she was also helping her in school. Her grades were improving and everyone, including herself, was noticing a big difference.

"I think…" She paused. "Maybe eighty?" She looked at Emma, who nodded, a grin passing over her lips.

"Right! See, the thing about math is that it really isn't hard as long as you show all your work." She pointed to the pencil marks Mia had made during her calculations. "That way, if you are wrong, you can go back and try to find where you went wrong."

Everything was beginning to get easier- school work, her relationship with her mother, and her relationship with Jackie. A lot of the burden had been lifted from Jackie, and she was able to focus on herself and her own studies, and help Mia with the baby when everything else was taken care of. Her mother was taking even more shifts at the bakery and her other job at a department store to bring in more money to set aside for when the baby was to arrive.

Mia was lucky to have the support of both Emma and her mother Christine. A few days prior, Emma had invited her out to an early dinner with her mother, who had recently had a baby herself. Mia had felt a connection with the young mother- not only did she share a very similar experience to her own, but she was understanding and helpful to Mia's questions, thoughts, and concerns.

Overall, life was looking up for everyone.

"Emma?"

The blonde girl was putting Mia's homework back into her math folder.

"Yeah?"

"Today, in like an hour, I have a doctor's appointment. My mom is working and Jackie has a hard English test tomorrow so I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come with me? If you can't, that's fine. I was gonna go by myself in the first place anyway so it's really no big deal-"

Emma cut her off. "I would love to come. Let me just check and make sure it's okay with my mom. You never know when I may need to babysit Jack for a few minutes while she goes for a run or something." She dug for her cell phone in her jacket pocket and quickly dialed her mother's number.

"Mom? It's Emma. Yeah, I'm with Mia. She has a check up today and she invited me to come along. Is that okay?" She paused, listening to her mother on the other line. "Okay. Will do. Bye Mom, love you." She hung the phone and replaced it into her pocket. "She said it's fine. I just have to be home by eight so she can get a quick run in. When's the appointment?"

"Five. It shouldn't take long. Just a check up and stuff like that." She stood up, grabbing her backpack and swinging it over her shoulder. "Do you know what time the bus comes to head toward the clinic?"

Emma checked her watch, "Every fifteen minutes, I believe. And it's almost 4:30, so we should hurry."

Mia nodded and gathered the rest of her things before heading out of the door and toward the bus stop, with Emma close behind her.

-x-

The gel that was on her stomach was so cold.

Mia gripped the edge of the bed to keep herself from squealing out from the chill. The small instrument that would tell her everything she ever wanted to know was trailing around her abdomen, finally stopping when a clear picture of her womb appeared on the monitor before her.

The doctor, the new OB/GYN she had been seeing since her pregnancy, smiled. "Here's your baby. Everything looks great, Mia."

Mia looked up at the monitor and felt her heart melt. Her eyes took in the beautiful picture before her. Unlike the last time, where she hadn't been able to tell anything without the doctor pointing it out, she could see the outline of her child. If she looked close enough, she could tell where the head and torso were separated at the neck.

"Wow, it's gorgeous!" Emma sighed, leaning back into the chair she was seated at. "I can't believe it." She looked over to Mia, who was smiling. "I've never seen an ultrasound before. I wasn't ever interested when my mom was pregnant." She paused. "I wish I had been."

Mia's stomach fluttered as she continued to study the picture before her. "What can you tell from this?" she asked the doctor, who took another look at the ultrasound. "At this age, I mean."

"Well…" She turned the monitor to face her better. "Let's see here. I see fingers and toes. Here's the outline of the nose. See how it juts out from the face? And here's the ear. And… oh!" She smiled. "I can tell the sex."

Mia's breathing ceased. "You… you know if I'm having a boy or a girl?" She grasped Emma's hand, who squeezed it tight.

"Yes. But if you don't want to know, I can keep that information private. Many people chose to make it a surprise, and don't find out until the baby is delivered. If you want to know, however, I will gladly tell you."

She pondered. When her mother's friend Melissa had been pregnant, she had decided to not know the sex of her baby. They had had a fun time thinking of baby names for both genders, and had made bets about the sex. She pursed her lips, thinking hard. On the other hand, if she knew if her baby was a boy or a girl, then she could begin to pick out appropriate baby clothes and make sure everything was ready for when he or she came.

Of course, she also knew people who had been told and had had it turn out wrong. Her mother's coworker Nancy had recently had a boy, but the doctor had claimed that he was a girl. Nancy had gone out and painted her child's room pink and had purchased many cute pairs of pink booties and clothes. Now her son was stuck wearing the pink clothes and living in the pink room until she could afford to redo his living arrangement and wardrobe.

She looked to Emma, who just shrugged. "It's up to you, Mia."

"Okay, I don't think I want to know. Not yet."

"That is just fine. Now, do you have any other questions or concerns? How is your breathing? Some mothers report that around this time breathing becomes more labored as the baby grows and expands toward your lungs."

"No, my breathing is fine. I am starting to pee a lot more than I ever thought I would." She blushed slightly. "But other than that, everything is fine."

_Everything wasn't just fine. Everything was going smoothly. The morning sickness is gone, I'm not nearly as fat as I thought I would be, my grades are improving, I have Jackie back, I met Emma, and my mom and I are so much closer. This is… perfect!_

Fifteen minutes later, they were back on the bus. Mia sat next to the window with Emma on her left side.

"Hey, Mia? Have you thought at all about names?"

Mia looked up. "Not really, no, Have you?"

Emma laughed. "It's not my kid, stupid!" She gave Mia a little sock in the shoulder, and they both burst into giggles. "You haven't thought about them at all? Gosh, I would be going crazy, trying to find the perfect name."

"I guess names just never crossed my mind." At one time, she had had a boys name picked out- Hunter Anthony, after her grandfather- but it didn't seem right anymore. Whenever she did succumb to thinking about names, nothing stuck out. Emma was right. It had to be perfect. The name she ultimately decided on would be with her child for the rest of his or her life.

"If you were pregnant, what would you name it?"

Emma was silent for close to two minutes. "My friend Manny and I once had names picked out for our future children. Now we don't talk about kids at all." Mia knew that Manny was Emma's friend who had recently had an abortion. "I think I would name a son Michael Sean."

"What does the name represent?"

"I like the name Michael. And Sean… Sean is someone special to me." Her eyes glazed over as though she was recalling something wonderful that had happened in her past. "Sorry. Anyway. For a girl, maybe Marian Christine. _Robin Hood_ was always a favorite movie of mine. And Christine after my mom, obviously."

The younger girl nodded, her hands placed on her lower abdomen as the bus continued to roll along the Toronto streets. "You wouldn't happen to have any ideas for my baby, would you?"

"Sorry, no. Want to go back to the library and pick out a baby name book?" The bus was approaching the library. Neither girl had planned to get off there; they were both going to get off near Degrassi Community School because it was a central meeting point between both of their houses. Mia was nearly in the Degrassi district, but more so in the Lakehurst one.

Mia grasped the pull string above her and the bus made a stop at the library. The two girls hopped off of it and hurried back into the library to check out as many baby books as they could manage before it closed at 6:00.

With their arms full of books, the two took their separate ways and Mia headed back towards home.

-x-

The books were overwhelming.

She sat in her room, the moon shining in through her window, providing enough light to see the small black font upon the worn tanning pages.

It was nearly eleven. Mia was supposed to be asleep. Her mother, exhausted from her shift, was sound asleep in her room down the hall.

A pad of paper lay near her feet. She had split the page down the center with her black pen. On the top of the left side she had written "Boys" and on top of the right side was "Girls." So far, only one name in each column was exposed- Amber Lori and Benjamin Anthony. Both were nice names, but neither had the special ring that she was looking for. She didn't want her child to grow up hating its name. When she was in elementary school, there had been a boy in her grade named Boxer Adams. She was afraid that her child would end up with a name like that.

She continued to flip through the first book. Abigail was Hebrew for "Father in rejoicing." Alexander was Greek for "Defending men." Her head was spinning. She just needed a glass of watcher.

Quietly, she tiptoed downstairs and into the kitchen.

With her water glass filled, she turned to head back up to her bedroom.

Suddenly, her chest filled with concrete. She couldn't breathe. Her world was spinning. Was she falling? She couldn't tell. She clutched onto the table, trying to regain herself.

Vertigo. Sweet, sweet vertigo continued to pulse through her veins until there was nothing left but complete and utter fear.

**OOC/ All right, my lovelies! Please read and review. I am currently on vacation, so help my keep my sanity while I die of boredom. I will definitely have another chapter up by Sunday, I do believe. But please review or I will just delay it a little longer…… **

**-ELPHIE (the horizontally challenged)**


	11. Chapter 11: Breathe

**Brace Yourself:  
Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 11:  
Breathe

_Two am and she calls me cause I'm still awake  
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?  
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.  
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes  
Like they have any right at all to criticize  
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason._

_Cause you can't jump the track  
We're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,  
No one can find the rewind button girl  
So cradle your head in your hands.  
And breathe, just breathe_

_Cause you can't jump the track  
We're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,  
No one can find the rewind button boys so cradle your head in your hands  
And breathe, just breathe_

_There's a light at each end of this tunnel  
You shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out  
And these mistakes you've made  
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around_

_Two am and I'm still awake writing this song  
If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me  
Threatening the life it belongs to.  
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd  
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud  
And I know that you'll use them however you want to._

_But you can't jump the track  
We're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,  
No one can find the rewind button now  
Sing it if you understand..,_

_Just breathe._

--

It didn't take long for Lori to find Mia passed out on the kitchen. When she had collapsed, her foot had knocked a chair along with her and her mother had raced to see what the commotion was all about, assuming that there had been a break in. She hadn't expected to find her daughter on the ground, a chair and a shattered water glass along with her.

She stirred Mia to consciousness and carried her to the car. She was mumbling inaudibly, and her face was pale white, her hands shaking and nearly saturated with sweat. The drive to the hospital was swift and urgent, for there weren't many cars on the road and Lori was going well over the speed limit.

She was admitted into the emergency unit almost instantly. Vitals were taken, and she faded in and out of sleep. Tests were run, machines were hooked up, and all the while she could only think of her unborn child.

Almost four hours later, she was diagnosed with a severe panic attack.

-x-

The sun streamed into her room and she blinked awake. She was still in the hospital; kept overnight for observation. A few of her blood tests had yet to return, but the doctors and nurses on call were fairly certain there wasn't anything physically wrong with her.

Her mind was reeling from the moment she opened her eyes. It took her a few moments to remember where she was and why she wasn't at home at school or asleep in her bed. Then it all came back to her as she took in the scene before her.

"Mom!" No one was in her room. Her mother had gone to the cafeteria to purchase a small lunch for herself. It was already nearing noon.

Someone came running into her room, but it wasn't her mother. A male nurse, clad in green and blue scrubs hurried in and began to take her vitals again. "How are you doing, Mia?" he asked, looking at her charts.

She fought back the tears of embarrassment. She didn't want to be at the hospital with someone looking after her. She wanted to be home or at school where she could function like she wasn't some special charity case.

"I am perfectly fine." It wasn't even a lie. She felt fine physically, but her mind was still spinning. She was attempting to forget what had happened. Maybe if she forgot about the incident, it would go away.

"Well, we're just going to make sure." He wrapped a cuff around her upper arm and took her blood pressure, marking the number into her chart. "Don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

"Where is my mom?" She was looking toward the door, hoping that her mother would come in at any second and whisk her back home.

"She went to get some lunch. She should be back very shortly." He took a small blood sample from Mia's finger then left her room to bring it to the lab.

A panic attack. She had heard the doctors telling her mom the previous night. She didn't even know what a panic attack was. Had she harmed the baby with her fall? She could remember a night nurse taking an ultrasound before she had fallen asleep, but she couldn't remember seeing her child on the monitor, hearing its heartbeat. If anything was wrong with it, they would've told her by now, right?

Not even five minutes later, Lori came back into the room. "You're awake." She sat down in the chair beside the hospital bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I want to go home." Her stubborn brown eyes glared into her mother's hazel ones and she sighed. "Please, Mom."

"Mia, you had a panic attack last night. You need to talk to me. How were you feeling before you fell?"

Rolling her eyes, she thought back to the eve prior. "I went downstairs for a glass of water-"

"Which is how you got that." Her mother grabbed her left hand, and Mia was stunned to find it bandaged. She hadn't even noticed. "Glass shard from the water glass punctured your palm. You had to get three stitches."

She didn't even remember. What else didn't she remember? "O-Okay." Her voice was trembling now. "I went downstairs to get some water and when I was about to leave the kitchen I felt like my lungs were caving in. And I couldn't breathe. I got dizzy and I fell." She paused. "That's all I remember. I sort of remember waking up during an ultrasound and I remember the doctors telling you it was a panic attack. I don't even remember getting stitches."

Lori stroked her daughter's hair, weaving it through her fingers. "Honey, we all thought you had miscarried."

"Miscarried? Like… lost my baby?" Her breath went icy again but she remained upright and focused. "I didn't, did I?"

"No, everything is fine. But the doctors and I are worried about you. Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself right now."

"But I'm hardly doing anything! I quit gymnastics, I dropped out of my extra Spanish class, and I'm not helping you at the bakery. It's just school work and taking care of myself!"

"I know, baby. But maybe you should consider letting me home school you until the baby comes. You can go back to Lakehurst next year."

She almost laughed out loud. "No way! I am not dropping out of school just because of one stupid panic attack! I am going back and I am going back tomorrow."

Her mother sighed deeply. "Okay. Okay, fine. But the doctor wants to talk to you about maybe going on a light antidepressant. It could help stabilize your mood and keep you from having any more panic attacks. Plus, it would lessen your risk for post partum depression."

"An antidepressant?" She recalled the countless commercials she had seen for various pills like Prozac, Zoloft, and Celexa. "Mom, those commercials said that if you're pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant you shouldn't take them."

"I know, hon. But I think the benefits outweigh the risks-"

"No. Way. They say right in the commercial that pregnant people shouldn't take them. Don't even try to convince me otherwise." She laid back into her pillows, as though the matter was closed.

It was. Lori wasn't going to fight her. It was her decision and there was no point trying to change it. She kissed her daughter's forehead, then went to go find the nurse to talk about discharge.

-x-

"Oh my god. Are you okay?"

It was Saturday, one day after Mia's episode at the hospital. She was back at home, but ordered to take it easy for a few days. She had called up Emma as soon as she could, and was on the phone with her.

"Yeah, I think so. I feel fine, but my mom is hovering over me. It's kind of annoying." She paused. "They wanted to put me on antidepressants."

"And I take it you said no?"

"Of course I said no! Antidepressants are not recommended for pregnant people and there is no way I am putting my baby in any danger because of a stupid little panic attack."

She could almost hear Emma nod. "I agree with you. But… what were you doing when you fainted?"

"I had just finished looking at the first baby name book. I was just going downstairs to get some water. I mean, I wasn't even feeling stressed!" That was a lie. Looking at the names had evoked a whole new side to the pregnancy- she was going to be someone's mother. Someone was going to be depending fully on her. And she was only a child herself. But she swallowed those thoughts and continued talking. "Oh, and when I fell I shattered a glass and sliced open my palm. I had to get three stitches."

"Whoa. Is your hand okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Just bandaged. But the good news is that I started to think of names." She ignored the pitfall someplace between her stomach and her heart.

"Really? Let's hear them!"

"Okay. I'm not too sure if I'll be sticking with either of them, but for a girl… Amber Lori. And for a boy, Benjamin Anthony."

"I really like Amber! It's really unique and has a nice ring when you put it with 'Jones.' It sounds powerful."

"Really? I just thought it was cute. What do you think of Benjamin?"

"It's a nice name. Kind of generic, but you won't get any misspellings or anything like that. My friend Manny has to spell her name out all the time, especially her full name- Manuella."

"It's pretty, though. Maybe I should give my child a more unique name. Maybe then he or she will feel more… unique."

"Emma! Manny and Toby are here!" Mia could hear Christine shouting in the background.

"I gotta go. Wanna meet on Tuesday at the library?"

"Sure! I have an English paper due on Wednesday and I would love for you to read it over."

"Great! I'll see you then." She hung up and Mia all of a sudden felt alone. She pulled out her latest ultrasound picture, the one taken on Thursday, and traced her fingers over it.

"Hi, baby. It's me… your mom." She took a deep breath, feeling stupid. She was talking to a picture! But her free hand rested on her abdomen and she felt a wave of peace wash over her. "I'm sorry I scared you on Thursday. I didn't mean to. I hope you're okay in there." She smiled. "I am really excited to meet you. But also kind of nervous. What if you don't like me? I don't exactly know how to be a mom." She stood up from her bed and moved to her desk near the window. "I'm still kind of a kid myself. But… but maybe we can learn together? I'll try my best, I really will. I just don't know if my best is good enough. I freaked out just thinking about names!" She laughed slightly, finally finding the memory just a little bit funny.

"Mia, Jackie's here!"

She set down her picture onto the desk and was about to leave when she felt a small pain in her stomach. Gently she pressed her hand onto her abdomen and felt it again, and once more. A huge grin appeared on her face and she nearly cried out in joy. Her baby was kicking! As though he or she had heard her, it was kicking!

She was about ready to jump up and down with happiness but held herself back. Instead, she brought her hands up toward her heart and kissed them.

"I love you, too."

**OOC/ This chapter took some serious researching. I had to figure out stages of pregnancy and the effects of antidepressants on a pregnancy. They are sometimes not pretty. But we'll find out what happens because of this panic attack...**

**Anyway! Thanks for all the reviews! Keep them coming, okay? I may have to threaten ransom again! Bwahaha!**

**Until next time, folks! It may be later tonight. -Elphie the Conquerer**


	12. Chapter 12: Rooftop

**OOC/ I wish that you all could see how excited I get when I get reviews. Not even kidding. It's like Christmas. Except better, because I'm Jewish :)**

**Brace Yourself:  
Triumph Over Tragedy**

Chapter 12:  
Rooftop

_Crouched down on a rooftop_  
_In my mother's high-heeled shoes  
I'm wondering if I will drop  
Fly away with you_

_I can smell the rain coming  
But I won't leave until it falls  
I'm gonna soak in its downpour  
Til I hear my mother's calls_

_Cause I am playing God  
I am raising hell as far as I can tell  
I am all alone  
Alone in this world  
Alone, with you_

_I carry spring rain in my hair  
Weighted sorrow in perfect clouds  
Bursting in the air  
Wash away and drown_

_The roof slips beneath my feet  
As the branches back away from me  
The softest grass turns to concrete  
But I will fly  
I will fly  
You will see…_

--

The autumn leaves swirled around the Canadian city, causing a storm. It was nearing the end of November; the air was becoming bitter and the sky was turning to a dark shade of slate gray.

It didn't take Mia long to return to school in good health. When the rest of her seventh grade class heard about her panic attack they, just like her mother, had assumed a miscarriage. Mia, ready to squash the rumors, took it upon herself to publicly explain that she was still pregnant and also alive.

She was shivering. She was always cold these days, and it didn't help that the school was trying to save money by not using central heating. Twenty weeks. Almost twenty-one. She didn't like to think about what was to come at the end of the long road to labor. She knew it was going to be hard and nothing like how they fantasize it in movies or on television. This was real life; this was her life. And she was close to having a nervous breakdown.

Her bedroom was completely reorganized. The desk near her window was replaced with her own bed so her old baby crib could fit and be away from direct sunlight. Next to it, instead of her stereo, was a small chest of drawers that her mother had filled with the most neutral colored baby clothes she still had from Mia's own baby days. They still didn't know what sex of the baby was, although Mia swore she had a mother's intuition that it was a boy.

Names still weren't happening for her. She had decided against Amber after thinking about it more- she didn't want her child named after a color or a flower. Benjamin was still on the table, as well as Jacob, Bryan, and Joshua. As for girl names, she liked Brianna and Isabella equally. Both had a nice feminine ring and sounded good with her neutral last name. As Emma had said, neither were so generic that they would probably grow up to hate their name, but they weren't so unique that people would be constantly mispronouncing or misspelling it.

The school day was dragging on longer than Mia could remember it ever doing before. Much to her dismay, by the time she reached thirty weeks her mother was making her begin what would be her maternity leave. She would have to continue her studies at home just in case she went into preterm labor.

Preterm labor. Just thinking about it made Mia shiver involuntarily.

"Mia? Mia Jones? The answer to problem sixteen?"

She looked up from her immense thoughts. History class. Right. She took a glance down at her worksheet.

"The answer to question sixteen is the French." She knew she was correct; she had completed the assignment with Emma the previous eve at her house.

"Right." Her burly teacher, Mr. Goldsteen, turned away from her. "From what we know about the French, they came to Canada to…" The rest of his words just floated into oblivion.

"Nice save, Mommy." She looked back up and saw that Nic was turned from his seat and was facing her. She rolled her eyes, not in the mood to take crap from anyone anymore these days.

"Whatever."

"Ouch, do you talk to all attractive men like that?" He smirked and put a hand down on her desk. She was half temped to just slap it away, but if she got another suspension, she could be definitely be voted off the island.

"Not attractive men. Just you." Her fingers began to twist her pencil around in an attempt to keep from doing anything to Nic that she would regret.

"Ouch, burn.

The day was ticking by slow. Thankfully, they were in their second to last period of the day, which was Canadian History. Next was math. Then- home. Home. The word tasted sweet in Mia's mouth. Her eyes, desperate for distraction from both Nic and the class, wandered to the clock. 1:30. Half an hour until the end of the lesson. Hour and a half until the school day was over.

Before she could drift out of her trance, a ringing came over the intercom. Snapping out of the transfixion, she looked up along with the entirety of the class.

"Attention Lakehurst Junior High students and faculty. This is your principal speaking. Please evacuate the building immediately. Do not stop at your locker. Do not stop to socialize. Do not ask questions. Please just leave the building. You will be informed as to what is happening as soon as we have more details. Please leave now."

Mia's heart began to race. What was going on? The rest of her class, obviously not as concerned as she was, jumped from their seats and sprinted to the door and out of the school. She quickly followed suit, passing her teacher and continuing down the hall. The closest door was jam packed with students of all ages, along with teachers. Positioned at the entrances were members of the faculty, leading students out and shouting instructions.

Someone grabbed her arm. She looked up and was surprised to see a girl from her grade, Anya MacPherson, holding onto her. "There aren't as many people at the south exit. We've got to hurry."

She was shocked by Anya's kindness. She barely knew her, and yet she was helping her out of the school like she was a top priority.

She didn't know what else to say. Her entire mind was blank. She had no idea what was going on. It was like she was drifting through in a dream.

After a few more moments of pushing and shoving, Anya and Mia made their way out of Lakehurst. The grounds were swarmed with people, parents, and newscasters. The November air nipped at her ears and she began to search for her mother. Looking around, Anya was gone. She didn't recognize anyone. Students from grades eight and six desperately propelled their way through her and she grasped her stomach as though protecting her unborn child from the dangers of the world. All of the sevens had gone out of the north and west exits.

She kept on walking toward the way home. She saw Jackie. She saw Jane. She saw Lucas. But she kept walking. She couldn't stop. This was a mistake. She shouldn't have gone back to school. She should've stayed at home. Something was wrong. Something was desperately wrong. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, but there was something wrong.

Time was standing still.

-x-

The news blared from every television in the city, broadcasting the same story. A shooting at Degrassi Community School. One student dead, another in critical condition. Three students held at gun point. No names, no ages. No clues to who was involved in the tragedy.

Mia sat on her couch, her eyes glued to the broadcast before her. Sitting beside her was Lori, also watching the story with interest.

"Mom, do you think its Emma?"

"What's Emma, baby?"

"Do you think it was Emma who was held at gunpoint, or hurt?" She couldn't seem to grasp the situation. "Or… dead?"

"Don't think about that, Mia. Just focus on something else. I'll try to get a hold of Emma's mother when I feel it's the appropriate time." Even Lori was having a hard time masking her fear.

"There is going to be a memorial held at the school tonight in hopes that the injured student will pull through. I'm Melinda Larson with Midtown News." The screen switched to a commercial for Jeremiah's Used Cars. Mia's mind turned green. Go.

"Mom, I'll be right back." The sky was beginning to turn navy for the night. "I need to go to Degrassi."

"Mia, no. It's late and you have school tomorrow."

"We don't know that. Who knows when Lakehurst will open again? Everyone's terrified." She recalled the scene from prior in the day. It had taken her twenty minutes to even locate her mother, let alone get the news out of her. There had been a shooting at Degrassi. Someone was dead. Others were injured.

She could see Lori pondering. There was no time. She pulled her jacket off of the hook and hurried from the house. Her feet carried her toward the community school. It wasn't far; her house was on the border of the Lakehurst and Degrassi districts. In the distance she saw a throng of people. Candle light lit up the sky, and she felt like she could feel the tears of strangers pouring down her pale cheeks, She continued to walk, her feet protesting against the abuse. They were swollen and tired, but she couldn't stop. Not now. Not yet. She needed to place her eyes onto her friend, sister, and mentor. She couldn't give into the pain.

Images flashed before her eyes as she trudged. What if Emma had gotten hurt? Would she even be at the memorial? She tried to blink away the thought of the blonde sophomore lying on a hospital bed, tubes connected to her heart. Keeping her alive. Even worse, what if she had been the victim? What if she was… dead?

Mia bit her lip to keep from outright sobbing as she approached the scene. Her eyes registered students from her own school, as well as others. They were all united under the tragedy that had somehow struck everyone.

She looked anxiously around for someone, anyone she could talk to. People were holding flowers, praying, singing. Others were bawling, crumpled onto the ground. A face stared from the memorial sight. She didn't recognize the African American boy looking back at her, but her heart froze and her mind caved in. This boy, whoever he was, was hurt. A sickening feeling churned in her stomach and her mouth became thick with acid. Or dead.

She felt lost. She needed to leave. She didn't belong here. Turning around, she tried to make her way out of the crowd, but her feet couldn't move. She felt trapped in the scene.

Then she saw her. Standing alone and staring at the memorial was Emma. Her eyes were blood shot. Her hands were wringing into her shirt. Paint covered her clothes. She was shaking.

"Emma." Mia didn't know what else to do. She edged her way toward her friend, and felt life return to her lungs when they caught eyes. To her horror, Emma began to cry harder, doubling over to catch her breath. Mia took her hand and let her fall into her chest, awkwardly holding her against her baby bump.

"Mia, oh my god." Her words were raspy, clinging onto some sort of desperation. "Mia, he had me at gunpoint. He pointed the gun at me. Mia, I could've died. Jimmy could die. Rick is dead. And Sean! Sean saved my life." Her words were sputtered, chopped into fragments. Mia could barely catch what she was saying. She closed her eyes and just let herself relax into her friend's figure. Mia didn't know who Jimmy and Rick were, but she recognized Sean's name. Sean had been Emma's boyfriend. She had been in love with him.

"It's going to be okay, Emma." Mia rubbed the older girl's back, feeling the tension ebb away. "You're going to get through this. I promise."

"You can't promise anything anymore." Emma finally straightened up, wiping the hair away from her face and looking toward the sky. "We're all so alone. Alone in this world."

"You can be alone with me."

Mia took her hand and looked up as well. From deep inside of her, a small kick attempted to prod her back to reality but just for that night, she forgot about everything that had happened to her in the past few months and just focused on the deep night sky.

**OOC/ My deepest apologies! Since the publication of my previous chapter, I went to choir camp and had to help my mom clean the entire house because we have a foreign exchange student staying with us for the year. I have also been planning a going away party for my best friend who is spending her junior year of high school in Spain. Phew!**

**This chapter means a lot to me. It was short and maybe not my best work, but it has a lot of significance. If some of you, dear readers, read my one shot entitled 'Youth Of The Nation,' one of my favorite episodes is Time Stands Still, parts one and two. Two years ago at my high school, we had a very serious gun and bomb threat that left everyone in a complete panic and paranoia. We didn't know whom we could trust. Everyone was very alone. Every day was a nightmare until the prospective shooting date, where everyone stayed home. Some people thought it was a joke. Others didn't know what to make of it. I was completely terrified, but afraid to show it. Eventually, the student was caught and placed in juvenile hall, but we are all still affected by the after math. Many copycat threats have been made. New rules, restrictions. It was a wake-up call to what could have been a devastating tragedy.**

**I am currently writing a thesis about students and violence. My research has taken me from Columbine to Virginia Tech, to the Amish schoolhouse violence and even to Degrassi, plus everywhere in between.**

**The song, Rooftop by Melissa McClelland, was featured in the Degrassi episode 'Time Stands Still' (part two, 408). It is a beautiful song and if you haven't yet heard it, make sure to check it out on YouTube or iTunes.**

**Thanks for all the reviews from the past chapters. I would love, love, LOVE a good number of reviews for this one, because it means so much to me, and because I am unsure about the actual writing content. Please submit something to me. It will be highly regarded.**

**Until next time! And I promise it won't be so long! –Elphie, the Researcher**


	13. Update, September 10th

**OOC/**

**Hey everyone!! Elphie here with just a few updates.**

**-Sorry for the ONCE AGAIN long leave of absence. As most of you could probably guess, it is because of good old school. But now that things are winding down, I can put some more effort into this story that I love oh so much. Thanks for your patience.**

**-One more thing: I was thrilled with the response that I got for my previous chapter, Rooftop. However, I noticed an error on my own behalf. I accidentally put the school shooting into the wrong time frame. If all the ages and years worked correctly, then Mia would've been in eighth grade, with Isabella already alive during the Degrassi school shooting. I have Emma one year too old, as well. I got mixed up because of the season six/season seven time frame, with both only being half a year instead of the traditional full year. I apologize for that. It has been bothering me so much since I realized it!! I hope I was the only one who did. So we can officially declare this slightly AU because of the time mix up. I like the chapter too much to delete it and change Emma from a sophomore to a freshman. So we're just gonna leave it be.**

**Thanks again for everyone's patience! I wanted to get this note out before I forgot to include it. I am going to go do some Spanish review, but I'm hoping to put up the next chapter tonight. So stay tuned, my devoted readers, and remember to send some reviews my way.**

**With peace,**

**ELPHIE, with her timing all off.**


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